Why is money such a dirty little secret? Have you noticed that no-one will talk actual money with you, apart from saying they’re broke; or if they’re wealthy, they won’t say a thing or tell you how they did it. Why is this?
I made a critical error in judgement some years ago by looking at my peers and friends and thinking they were rolling in the bucks. They were living the lifestyle, had all the toys, fancy cars …. turns out, they weren’t and that they were in debt up to their eyeballs. Their lives were a lie. And before I blinked, I ended up with car and home loan debt where I had none before. Had to keep up with the Jones’s and all… It’s a stupid game with no winners.
No-one wants to tell you how much they earn, what their expenses are, how much debt they have, how much their toys and hobbies cost, how much profit they make, what investments they have and why; so you have nothing concrete to measure against. Most people will lie about their financial situation and use it to manipulate the people around them. Most people were not taught how to work with money, I know I wasn’t, and that can follow you around your whole life.
Just try and make everyone’s salaries public and see what happens. Why is a salary such a confidential thing? It’s just money. Why is it that some people just seem to attract money whilst others just never do?
And then don’t forget those ever present golden handcuffs – a lot of people in my industry will be able to relate to those. Funny how no-one wants to admit they have them, and if they don’t have them, they want them; but they don’t realise the consequences of having them because all they see is the facade of the people who have them. They compare apples with onions. You need to learn to ask the right questions.
I know it sounds flippant and cliche coming from someone who drives a nice car and just bought a fairly big house (all owned by the bank!) – but I promise you, the joy is short-lived. You have got to have inner peace and strength no matter what or you will feel emptier than you ever have in your life regardless of how many “things” you acquire.
We end up fighting and scratching each other for peanuts because we are taught there is not enough money for everyone. Please explain how you owning a yacht and a mansion takes money away from me? It doesn’t. Please explain how me giving up my house and car gives money to the people living in a township? It doesn’t. We owe it to ourselves to become successful so we can uplift the people around us. My new favourite saying is “when you have everything you need, don’t build bigger walls, buy a bigger table”.
We live in an infinitely abundant Universe and there is enough for everyone. The fact that a lot of it is being held by a bunch of psychopaths is another story, but it still doesn’t stop other normal people from becoming independently wealthy. Blaming others for your financial woes is futile, there are plenty of very wealthy people out there who simply just worked for it. Sometimes it’s just that simple, no magic formula, just hard work. (I get that some people are screwed out of lots of money by highly unethical people, that’s a different story too).
Am I financially free? Far, far from it! Do I have a plan in place to get there? Yes I do. Did I figure it out on my own? No I didn’t. Was it worth it to get expert advice? Yes it was. What do I have to do now? Stick to the plan. Did I have a leg up somewhere in my life? Yes I did. Did I spend it wisely? No I didn’t. I am 46 years old and only starting this now; better late than never. But I can tell you one thing, I will chart my own course from now on and not compare myself to my peers again, because my success criteria and the things that are important to me are vastly different to theirs.